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Procrastination

What would we do without the Internet? No, Seriously. It's a true exercise of the imagination for me to remember what "pre-connectivity" days were like. Let alone e-mail for a second and just think about life sans the good ol World Wide Web. By putting n...

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  Hey, Ethan Hawke's Made a Career Out of That
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Flyer guy, after trying to give suit a flyer: Hey man, nice tie.Suit turns around: Thanks! Nice! [Looks flyer guy up and down.] Actually, you look like shit.--71st & Continental, Forest Hills Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted...

  I'll Have What She's Drinking
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Eight-year-old girl drinking margarita: My daddy taught me in kindergarten, if any boys treat me like s-h-i-t, kick them in the dick![Five minutes later.]Eight-year-old girl: I'm gonna kill myself!--Mexican Restaurant near Union Square Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Link · Email · Quote this! &...

  In My Defense, You Are a Very Sir-able Ma'am
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Lead singer of The Stitch Ups: What's your name, sir?Audience member: Samantha.Lead singer of The Stitch Ups: Holy shit!--Blender Theater, GramercyOverheard by: we thought she was a dude, too... Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted...

  A Garland's Still a Step Up from a Noose, Though
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Woman #1: So our department keeps talking about how much they are trying to promote diversity and understanding of others, but get this, two weeks ago they put up garlands over the door! Like, that is so disrespectful to other religions! It gets better though, the next day they put up a plug-in menorah --somebody must have...

  Especially If She Puts the Toilet Seat Up
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NYU undergrad #1: Last night I heard her like just pee for the first time.NYU undergrad #2: Yeah, the first time you hear a girl pee for the first time it freaks your shit out!--Waverly & Washington Square North Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us &mi...

  the evening closes
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  Everything Monkeys Do Is Gangstrous
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Guy #1: That's so gangsta, bro!Guy #2: What's so gangsta about it? They're just feeding monkeys.--Bronx ZooOverheard by: Angelina Salgado Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2008-05-11

  And Filmed It for the Kids
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Male student orientation leader: Hi, did you masturbate today?Female student orientation leader: Yes, I did!--Orientation, Baruch College Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2008-05-11

  I've Been Thinking About Getting Out of Mental Illness, Anyway
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[A crazy man is running back and forth on the sidewalk and uses a blonde girl to 'hide' behind.]Blonde: Excuse you!Crazy man: What, you got a problem?!Blonde, firmly: Yes. Could you stop being a weirdo around me?Crazy man: Oh... Sorry. He then proceeded to walk normally to the crosswalk.--57th & 9thOverheard by: Not around...

  The Appeal Of Perez Hilton's Site: Encapsulated
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Female prepster: ... And part of me is totally into really fucked up people with really fucked up problems.Male prepster: Yeah. Me too. Totally, dude.--110th & BroadwayOverheard by: Justin Casement Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted...

  
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